It's true: the chemicals in most store-bought cleaning products can be harmful, but sometimes we recommend homemade alternatives just because it's fun. Like this one from Joey Green's book Polish Your Furniture with Pantyhose:

Polish your wood furniture with Spam.

That's right—the lunch meat. Rub it on there and wipe off with panty hose. Apparently it leaves your furniture shining like nothing else (and presumably smelling like a sandwich). Not having it? Here's another option from Thefunplace.com:

Mix the following ingredients and rub on for a good shine:

1 tsp olive oil,

The juice of a lemon

1 tsp whisky or brandy

1 tsp water